Monday, January 21, 2008

Of all the things I hate in this world,

One of the things I hate most is being taken out of context.

One certain member of the Autism Speaks forum thinks I have "zero credibility" because I never received an official autism diagnosis.

Look. Just because I am undiagnosed officially, does not make me not credible. I am not a liar. I never misrepresent myself. Ever. There are many autistic adults who NEVER get diagnosed.

All this because of a topic about stimming. He expects the poster to blindly follow his advice (going GFCF), while I say that the poster can do this, but to see a pediatrician first. GFCF is not only very restrictive, but it is quite expensive and the foods available (other than rice) literally taste like sh!t. GFCF should never be done without consulting a doctor and getting GI tests done. This is ALL I said, and this person decides to repeatedly go ad hominem on me.

That was the final straw. I have to log in to read PM's I've been sent, but otherwise, I am finished.

I may make one final post when my diagnosis becomes official (and it WILL, you can count on it), though I also may not.


AspieMama said...

I think it's easy for people to be, I guess the word might be "unfriendly" online because it is so anonymous. I think that this is especially true with a topic that people have really strong emotions and opinions about. Don't let this get to you...the best option may be to ignore it if you can. Sorry that you felt that you were taken out of context.

AspieMama ~

concerned one said...

Gf/Cf is something a parent can try, often brings rapid results, and an expensive trip to the doctor isn't necessary, so it saves the parent financially.

I think the parent that got frustrated with you was concerned that other parents might write
off a diet that has worked for countless families & is easy to implement.

I know you feel rejected, but perhaps you need to reevaluate your reasons for the postings you made that led to the confrontation.

These are experienced parents, who have seen the benefits of dietary intervention, who are taking the time to help other parents new to the diagnosis.
When you come in with definitive statements on a subject you have no experience with (raising an autistic child, being a parent, are both things you have yet to do....have you ever given a dedicated attempt at going gf/cf?) you run the risk of irritating those parents with years of valuable information.

Gf/Cf isn't restrictive, or expensive, a creative parent can make almost any recipe work with the Gf/Cf foods that are available.

beau, I know your intentions were pure, and your feelings hurt, but you need to learn your limitations, speaking to the merits of a diet you've never tried, for a child you don't have, did not bring a valid post to the board.

Post about the things you have experience with, on subjects facing the other autistic young adults, share your experiences with them. That would be helpful advice you could share from your actual life experiences.
You have a great deal to offer, but you must remember, when you go beyond your experience, and actual knowledge base, parents are going to rightfully call you on it.

I wish you all the best in the future,
concerned one

Beau McClelland said...

Yes, as a matter of fact. I have tried the diet for myself, because I DO have gluten issues. I hated it, personally. I'd rather eat gluten and have issues than eat things I don't like.

I do not consume dairy, though, despite my position. I am lactose intolerant. My lactose issues, as I have found out, are worse than my gluten issues.

I think this is experience enough.

concerned one said...

Yet you told the parent to consult a physician first, that's just not necessary.

As far as your diagnosis goes, even if you are autistic, that does not give you the perspective of a parent.

I believe you'd find working with young adults who are seeking help in their stage of their life, that's something you can relate to.

Leave the parenting to the parents. Otherwise, you'll just find yourself in the same spot, I'd hate to see that happen to you.

I believe many comments here have advised you to leave the boards & get out & live your life.
That's good valid advice.
You have your whole life ahead of you, explore it, make everyday an adventure.
God bless you.

concerned one

Beau McClelland said...

Right, it doesn't give me the perspective of a parent.

But my own experiences help me prepare for my future.

Once I'm done with college and start professional web design, I plan on adopting a child on the spectrum.

Hopefully by then, I will be out of this metropolis and have my own place with plenty of space to myself, and I won't have to worry about getting into an accident while driving.

I will become someone. It will just take me longer.

concerned one said...

You don't have to wait to" become" someone, you ARE someone!
Life's not a destination, it's an adventure.

I understand how you feel about cities, I moved to a very small town, after living all my life in the city. It took some getting used to, (yea, right) things traffic, no crime, knowing my neighbors.
I love it.
The time you spend now, working to make your dreams a reality, will be some of the best spent time of your life. Focus & determination are two of the attributes you will employ during this phase of your life.
Don't let something like a web board cloud your focus & dominate your thoughts.

The AS web board is visited, for the most part, by parents twice your age, you need to respect them, they have experience, not only as your elders, but as parents of ASD kids.

Your best move, is to find activities away from your computer , read, study, exercise,... grow, mentally, academically, spiritually.
The environment found on the AS board is only going to bring more turmoil, and based on reading some of your posts, you have more turmoil than you need in your life.

All the best,
concerned one

Casdok said...

My son is very sensitive to Fluorescent Lights.

And i agree - you are someone!