Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Issues with the Autism Speaks message boards... again.

I was told by some of the more open-minded regulars there that they appreciated my presence, as a spectrum adult. They could learn from my experiences while at the same time, I could learn from them, seeing as how I plan on adopting a spectrum kid in a few years.

That was from November until December. After my failed suicide attempt, they were concerned for me.

But then this month, the forum went completely to Hell. Now I'm told I'm ignorant and that my advice as a spectrum adult is no longer appreciated. Yet at the same time, there are at least four other spectrum adults there who AREN'T getting flamed for their advice. Their advice is exactly the same as mine, just worded more vaguely than what I say.

What the Hell gives? Why the Hell aren't they being flamed for their advice?

Nothing against the open-minded parents on the forums, or the adult autistics, if you're reading this. But I'm tired. I want to leave that board for good, but I just can't.

It's like Hotel California at that message board.


Casdok said...

We can all learn from others experience.
I cant answer your questions, but does sound a bit strange.
Dont give up, as im sure you have helped many others.

Beau McClelland said...

Oh I have, and I've gotten nice emails saying as much.

But the same amount of people are trying to put me down for no reason.

Anonymous said...

Maybe they do have a reason, it's just not apparent to you at this time.
Are they just "making nice" because they know of your mental instability? Could be, they're afraid of telling you how they really feel.
Maybe parents feel like you're out of your depth, not being a parent yourself (and if you think DHS is ever going to allow you to adopt, with a history of depression & attempted suicide, think again, that's NOT GONNA HAPPEN).

Club 166 said...

...Welcome to the Hotel California...
You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave...

Never thought I'd see an Eagles reference on the Hub. Cool.

As to all of the intolerant ones, they'll always be there. You just have to decide if it's worth your internal turmoil to stay there and put up with them.

They're trying to drive you away. Only you can decide if staying has enough benefit that you put up with them.


Anonymous said...

For every knowledgeable statement there is some idiot with a ignorant rebuttal.
If you share what you know with just one person and they pass it on, you have help many with your knowledge!


Beau McClelland said...

To the first anon,

my depression is under control and will never be coming back as far as I'm concerned.

I am lucky to have people on my side who will fight for me, no matter what the circumstances are. My dad has already said he will make damn sure everything goes according to plan.

Samsdad said...


No one is trying to drive Beau away, at least to my knowledge (and I'm pretty knowledgeable).

I will agree that Beau has to decide if the AS boards do provide him with reason to "put up with them", but he also must decide if maybe they prove to be too much stress, perceived or otherwise.

Beau, I think you find yourself at odds with people there when you delve into the parenting/scientific stuff a little too much. From what I've seen, you're a bit of a n00b when it comes to that stuff, especially the parenting (understandably). I was a newbie with all of this stuff too, but I learned and grew. That said, I find myself overwhelmed at times too. When that happens, I physically move away from the screen, contemplate how I feel, and decide from there. You seem like a good kid. I think you can make those same decisions if you allow yourself to.

Hope this helps, because that is what it was meant to do.

Beau McClelland said...



You're right. I'll be there less for a while regardless of how I'm feeling for now, as I finally have my college textbook. Now I can start on my work, which is more important to me right now.

And yeah, I don't know much when it comes to the parental or scientific side. The science I am researching myself. The parenting side, I'm saying what my own dad would say, and what I will pass on to my own when that time comes.

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine why you would subject yourself to bullying like this. The entire organization of Autism Speaks seems to be about whining and bullying. Why do you go there? They don't care what austism or autistics REALLY have to say, they only care about their own inability to cope and their need to talk about how their lives are horrible because they have autistic children, as far as I can see.